Collaborative divorce has become increasingly common in recent years. Spouses often want to find controlled, private and less-contentious solutions for ending their marriages. Yet, myths about the collaborative divorce process may deter some people from proposing this unique approach to marital dissolution to their spouses or even their lawyers. People who know the truth about collaborative divorce and the myths people share can make informed decisions about how to approach the end of a marriage.
What inaccurate claims about collaborative divorce might prevent people from working with their spouses cooperatively?
1. Collaborative divorce is more expensive than litigation
A surprising number of people assume that collaborative divorce is cost-prohibitive. They may claim it is only for the wealthy. The basis for this myth is likely the need to work with outside professionals. Financial advisors, parenting coordinators and mediators are among the outside professionals who may support spouses during collaborative divorces. Contrary to what many people believe, hiring those professionals is not more expensive than litigation. In most cases, the cost of support services during a collaborative divorce is only a fraction of what litigating disputes in court might cost.
2. Collaboration means giving up control
Many people assume that collaborative divorce strips them of power and forces them to make untenable compromises. In reality, litigation is the most disempowering approach to divorce. When spouses pursue a contested divorce filing, a judge decides how to split custody and divide marital property. The spouses can only present their claims. They have no control over the terms set.
Collaborative divorce gives spouses an opportunity to work cooperatively with one another to settle their disagreements. Each spouse does likely need to compromise, but they can also focus on achieving the terms that they deem the most important.
3. Collaborative divorce is the same as mediation
A collaborative divorce is a commitment to work with a spouse and settle all disputes outside of court. The process often involves mediation. However, mediation is not mandatory. Spouses may be able to settle everything by negotiating directly or through their attorneys. Mediation is simply a tool used to resolve disputes during a collaborative divorce.
There are many reasons to propose a collaborative divorce. Spouses may reduce conflict levels, which can minimize divorce stress. They can limit how much they spend on their divorce and speed up the timeline as well. Discussing collaborative divorce can empower spouses to end a marriage on their own terms and in the most peaceful manner possible.