Emotions tend to run high in the early stages of divorce. One spouse might prioritize protecting themselves, while the other might want to minimize the conflict that arises. Spouses seeking peaceful or cooperative divorces might propose committing to a collaborative divorce.
Some people worry that a peaceful approach to divorce might put them at a disadvantage and may be resistant to the idea initially. Collaborative divorce isn’t about “playing nice” so much as it is about preserving marital resources, spousal time and privacy.
Using the right tactics when discussing the possibility of a collaborative divorce can help overcome one spouse’s aversion and can shift the dynamic between spouses from constant confrontation to cooperative problem-solving. What strategies can convince a reluctant spouse to commit to collaborative divorces?
Tip one: Focus on how they’ll benefit
Exploring how collaborative divorce can be beneficial for both spouses and any marital children may be a convincing argument. The privacy provided by an out-of-court settlement can be very valuable. Spouses can discuss personal and financial details without revealing everything to the public.
Spouses stay in control of the process instead of turning everything over to a judge. Additionally, the collaborative process can help limit conflict, which in turn makes life less stressful.
Tip two: Approach on neutral ground
Divorcing spouses often try to have difficult conversations at inopportune moments. Suggesting collaborative divorce right before bedtime, during an argument or in front of children may result in more pushback than a conversation during a calm time without witnesses or pressing obligations. Using language that focuses on the couple rather than the individual can foster a sense of cooperation and inspire a reluctant spouse to collaborate if they feel respected.
Tip three: Secure professional insight
Many people become distrustful of their spouses during divorce. Recommending research into the benefits of collaborative divorce and allowing a spouse an opportunity to talk with an attorney or read about collaborative divorce proceedings online could help change their mind. When they recognize that many legal and financial professionals recommend collaborative divorce, they may see the value in this alternate approach to the marital dissolution process.
Collaborative divorces can be less costly and stressful than litigated divorces. Convincing a spouse to consider this divorce alternative may take concerted effort but may ultimately be a worthwhile endeavor.